Thanks to all who have responded to my request for help with mother/daughter issues for the book! I have loved reading the responses via email, comment, Facebook, etc. It is such a tricky situation, especially since there are so many reasons conflict arises. Obviously we can't touch on all of them in the book, but we can look at the one issue that causes all the others--our hearts. Most of us are probably familiar with the Bridezilla concept--a bride on a rampage, willing to destroy anything standing in her way en route to the perfect wedding. While that kind of self-focus will certainly cause huge interpersonal problems during this time, even a much smaller degree of selfishness can subtly creep in and become a joy thief. What seems at the outset a harmless desire to express one’s personality can, in the absence of gospel-centered motives, gradually turn into non-compromising selfishness.
Once again, the gospel is crucial here. As Tullian Tchivijian puts it so well:
The gospel doesn’t take you deeper into yourself; the gospel takes you away from yourself. That’s why Paul reminds the Colossians (and us), "You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God" (3:3). The gospel frees us to realize that, while we matter, we are not the point.
This perspective is revolutionary because the gospel is revolutionary. The world says, “It’s your day,” but the gospel says, “This day belongs to Christ--the true Bridegroom.” The world says, “Please yourself because you can’t satisfy everyone.” The gospel says, “Honor Christ because you can’t satisfy anyone."
I am thankful today for that kind of freedom. I can strive to honor Christ by believing He is best and everything else pales in comparison.