Getting My Heart Checked

Photo credit: Cross Duck on flickr

This morning I have an appointment with a cardiologist. Amazingly, it's nothing to be concerned about. As I sit here, writing this, the heart within my chest beats steadily--a textbook rhythm. But a few years ago, that was not the case. I was something of an anomaly, with a heart that skipped roughly 25% of it's normal beats each day. The doctors don't know what caused it, and I would never have known about it had God not used my OB to discover it several months after the birth of my first child.

Multiple doctor visits later, after having been told it was too dangerous to have more children, we found a cardiologist who did a lot of research and gave us the green light. So Micah was born, our precious reminder of the question "Who is like God?" Our God graciously gave above and beyond.

In the aftermath of Micah's birth, we discovered my heart was really not doing well. It was at 37% pumping capacity, rather than the normal 70. So the doctors recommended an ablation--a simple procedure to go up with a wire from my leg into my heart and cauterize the place where my heart wasn't functioning properly.

And that was that. My heart started regaining function. My heartbeat became steady. And I was as good as new. 

So today, roughly 5 years after being told we could have no more children, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. He didn't have to do that. But He chose to. 

And I will go to the cardiologist for a routine checkup on a day when I most certainly need my heart checked. The day of another kind of birth--the release of my book. It's been a 2.5 year process--a process made possible only by the grace of God. Had He not healed my heart, this never would have been possible. 

But just as I needed my physical heart to be repaired--to have a problem area burned away--I need my spiritual heart to be checked. My concern all along this book-writing process has been my awareness of my own pride and selfishness. I am thankful today for the tangible reminder that my heart is sick, but God alone gives a heart of flesh where there once was a heart of stone.

So I ask you, friends, to pray with me. Please rejoice at what God has done--it is all His doing. Please pray He would use this book to cause His children to rejoice at the thrill of being the bride of His Son. And please pray He would work, in spite of my pride, to draw many to live out their purpose--a life of worship.

I love you, friends. Thanks for cheering and praying and asking about this book over the past 2.5 years. I am blessed.

And thanks to my sweet mom, who had this crazy idea in the first place.