Real Wedding: Phoebe and Danny

A couple of weeks ago I featured Callie and Reed's Franklin, TN wedding. Callie and her sister Phoebe are the sister half of the brother/sister band The Vespers. Due to touring schedules they were married just one week apart, so I thought it would be interesting to feature both of their beautiful weddings because they were forced to focus on what was really important to them in planning. When you don't have long to plan, you're traveling all the time, and you just want to be married, things come into focus quickly.

Today I'm excited to feature Phoebe and Danny's wedding. They are dear friends and it was an honor to witness their union. (P.S. Be sure to check out the flower girls--Ava and Lily are my kids' BFFs and the most adorable flower girl sisters of all time).

How did it all begin?

I remember meeting Danny for the first time in a Sunday school class at our church. We made little impression on each other, apparently. Over 6 months later, our church introduced a young adult ministry and he came out of the woodwork along with many other young adults I didn't know. He and I became friends quickly and eventually started dating. We'd been officially dating for just a few months when he proposed. I had been on tour for 3 weeks and was about to leave again for the same amount of time. He took off work for the Monday I had at home. We went hiking early at our favorite spot as we often did and when we'd stopped at an outlook over the lake, he asked if he could read a few things. He quoted Genesis 2:18 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 in a shaky voice. Then he got down on a knee after snatching a small bag from his pocket and a ring from the bag. I got down on my knees too and we cried and accepted congratulations from hikers-by. We got married just over 6 months later.

If you could choose one word to describe your wedding day, what would it be and why?

Fulfilling. Because I worried about so many things, but at the end of the day, I was driving away to make a life with the man God had decided would be my husband.

What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

When Danny took me aside at the reception and washed my feet and promised to serve me for the rest of my life.

What were some of the unique challenges you faced in planning your wedding?

My sister and I are less than 2 years apart. We work together, play together, and used to do everything together. We've always shared. We got married 1 week apart. I got engaged first, but she got married first. It was really difficult for me to fight against being jealous and resentful towards her while we got ready for our weddings. It helped me to learn even more that my wedding was not about me and my fiancé, but about the glory of God and His jealous love for His church.

What did you want your wedding to mean and represent? How did you present that meaning?

We wanted our wedding to represent the ceaseless love and commitment that God gives to us, as His beloved. That's such a celebratory, joyful, beautiful, comforting reality! I just thought about that any time I had to make a decision.

What songs and Scriptures did you include in your ceremony?

We all sang Come Thou Fount and Be Thou My Vision, Danny's and my favorite hymn. I remember nothing from what our pastor talked about, but I think he referenced Ephesians 5.

What advice would you give Christ-following couples as they plan their weddings?

Realize that it's NOT about you, like everyone says. And it's NOT the most important day of your life. It's your opportunity to display God's beautiful self-sacrificing love for His people as you jump-start your life with another sinner in a joyful God ordained celebration!

What do you see as the relationship between the wedding and the marriage?

It's very covenantal and official in my mind. When marriage gets very hard, the wedding comes in handy to remind you of what you promised to your spouse and to God. But it's the beginning, the commencement ceremonies, the joyful send-off that your family throws you. Other than that, it's so small compared to the actual marriage. You have to think past the wedding day.